| | This week end was great. Robert and I finally bought our wedding bands and they're beautiful. I'm so glad I was able to foot the bill for both of them as it meant a lot to me considering Robert has paid so much for so long during this whole immigration process. We're both really happy with our unique rings. Maybe I'll update with pictures another time.
Aside from shopping around for our rings and briefly hanging out at a bar with our friend James, we just relaxed and took it easy.
Sunday night, however, was interesting. We received a knock at our door at around 9:00 pm, which is very unusual. It's so quiet here and I thought maybe it was James stopping by. Robert answered the door to be greeted by a female with a heavy accent. I couldn't quite place it. Turns out she's our new neighbour from Romania (only been in the U.S. for two months), and wanted to introduce herself with the hope of making new friends. She's completely alone here. Anyway, we chatted a bit and I made plans to hang out with her today after 2:00 pm.
She came by at 2:00 on the dot and we hung out all day until about 8:30 pm. We have a lot in common and it's interesting to converse with someone from a completely different culture. There are things that fascinate us about each other. I thought it was amazing that she didn't know what a dish washer was and I had to teach her how to use it. Or how she is an amazing cook and introduced me to wonderful Romanian food (stu and soup) that she had made from scratch. It was delicious and she promises to teach me how to cook Romanian food.
We got along very well and Robert was kind enough to help her set up her computer for her so she had something to do. The poor girl has barely any furniture in her apartment. She has an outdoor patio set, an air mattress on the floor, a computer/computer desk, and that's about it. She must have been dying from boredom the past little while staring at the walls. She's getting furniture this week though apparently so that's good.
Anyway, she's going through a lot of hardships trying to settle in the U.S. and keeping up with her new job and learning how to manage her money and how to use a bank machine, etc. She is a lot like me in that she's very warm and friendly and has had similar difficulties trying to adjust to such a cold city filled with snobby assholes. It was very refreshing to be around her. I think Robert really likes her too which is good because most of the time other women annoy the shit out of him.
I will be honest, she's an EXTREMELY beautiful woman. She's exactly what I wish I could look like. Within the first minute of meeting her I had feelings of jealousy and awkwardness around her because I have very low self esteem and confidence and felt like whenever I stood next to her, I looked like a big fat clumsy baboon. I forced myself to stop turning into a judgemental bitch like everyone else in this city and to swallow my pride and give this a try. I'm glad I did because already we've become good friends.
I am ashamed at my initial reaction and thoughts and feelings because it's not fair to other girls for me to judge them right off the bat like that, and if I'm honest, I don't LIKE being jealous. In fact, it makes me feel horrible inside and I don't know why I do this. Sure, I'm not gorgeous nor do I have a nice body, but I'm certainly not ugly. On good days, I think I'm pretty cute. So why do I beat myself up so much? In the end it's only me punishing myself. This is something I need to seriously work on.
Anyway, today was a good day and all together a great week end. I wish it didn't go by so fast.
I hope you all had a wonderful week end and I hope that you all remembered the brave people who died in order for us to celebrate this time in happiness and freedom.
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| | Posted 5/29/2006 11:30 PM - 45 Views - 12 eProps - 6 comments
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we should all have such problems!
anywho. i just wanted to comment on your xanga. i think all women have some sort of self esteem problem. even women who youd think are totally gorgeous think somethings wrong with them. so ure not alone. i think youre cute 
